MemberAugust 12, 2020 at 8:07 pm
I do not have an ideal family situation and therefore I don’t live at home. But when Corona hit I was forced to come home for an indefinite amount of time. When I first got home, I was having a very time since being with my family can be quite challenging.
One day when I was in a really bad mood, I sat down to figure out why this time is so much harder than ever before. I felt like instead of yetzias Mitzrayim, I had the opposite. I have come home many times, but it was never this hard. And then I realized that it was because I was not accepting my situation. In the past, I always knew when I was going home and I had time to prepare, but this time it happened so fast and I was just thrown into it.
So I wrote something for myself:
I’m resisting the painful situation I’m in right now.
As hard as it is, fighting it is only going to make it worse.
I need to come to a place of acceptance – this is where Hashem wants me to be right now.
For whatever reason, being here is the best thing for me right now.
It’s not where I want to be and it’s not at all what I had in mind for myself this year, but clearly, I don’t run the world.
You can’t work from a place of resistance; you can only work from a place of acceptance.
Instead of fighting the pain, I need to let it pass through me.
I am not my pain.
I’m in a painful situation right now, and yes, it’s very hard, but the pain will go up and down.
Instead of fighting the hard moments of pain, I should embrace them.
It’s all part of the challenge that Hashem is presenting me with right now.
I know I will come out of this tekufa a stronger and better person, because otherwise Hashem wouldn’t give this nisayon to me.
Yes, it’s hard, but I can do it.
Instead of falling into a pit of despair and waiting for someone to save me, I will rise to the challenge and do all I can to make this more pleasant for me and everyone around me.
It’s not easy, but Hashem will give me the strength to get through this – He always does.
He believes in me!
Yes, my life has turned upside down and it’s very hard, but I will rise to the challenge.
I don’t want another day like I had today, and so I won’t have another day like that.
That much is in my control – I have bechira to decide how my day will look and how much I’ll let everything get to me.
Hashem please help me and give me the strength to get through this and become a better eved Hashem!
After writing this, I felt like I had my own yetzias Mitzrayim. Now that I have come to this place, I am no longer a slave to my circumstances. I am free to be the real me wherever I am, regardless of what is going on around me
MemberAugust 12, 2020 at 10:29 pm
I love this, Writer 123! I love it because it really resonates with how I’m feeling now. I don’t have a job during the summer, and it’s really really hard when I don’t feel as busy and as productive as I “should” be. I also keep telling myself that this is what Hashem wants from me now and I can create my own kind of business. It’s murder, especially when the comparisons come in, but I’m trying..
MemberAugust 13, 2020 at 6:47 pm
Very powerful writing! That’s exactly what Hashem wants from us right now! Embrace the challenge instead of just ignoring it!
Hashem should send each of us our Yeshuos from our personal Mitzrayim!
MemberAugust 13, 2020 at 7:16 pm
Writer123, you have done a beautiful job expressing your feelings and growing from it. Thank you for the chizuk. I especially love the line; I am not my pain. It’s so powerful and so true. I really admire your writing piece of striving for inner peace. (mind the homophone 😉
MemberAugust 13, 2020 at 10:53 pm
Thank you, all of you! I really appreciate your words of validation! It took years of people telling me this for me to able to come to this place on my own. When it comes from an inner place, it is so much more powerful than someone just telling it to me.
MemberAugust 13, 2020 at 11:12 pm
When it comes from an inner place, it is so much more powerful than someone just telling it to me.
I’m just not sure what you mean by this statement. Do you mean it’s more powerful when someone gives us the validation?
MemberAugust 13, 2020 at 11:19 pm
Someone can tell you something from today till tomorrow, but when you realize it on your own, it is so much more powerful.
AdministratorAugust 13, 2020 at 11:30 pm
This is such powerful stuff, Writer123. I savored every single empowering statement–they read like centering, calming, incredible meditations or mantras.
MemberAugust 13, 2020 at 11:42 pm
So true. It has to come from within. We have to own it and internalize it.
MemberAugust 14, 2020 at 4:17 am
Thank you, Riva!
Yes exactly, PassionforWriting! It’s very empowering!
MemberAugust 16, 2020 at 10:59 pm
I am not my pain.
MemberAugust 17, 2020 at 2:19 pm
Hey, Writer 123! I repeated this line last night to my friend who is going through a little rough spot now. She really appreciated it…
MemberAugust 17, 2020 at 5:15 pm
Wow! Thank you for sharing! I’m so happy that other people are able to gain from it!
MemberAugust 17, 2020 at 6:27 pm
Boy do I relate to the sentiment that “I’m not my pain.”
Thank you for sharing that in your poem!
MemberSeptember 24, 2020 at 4:01 am
Hi, Writer123, I just read this piece now. Wow, you sound so strong! Your outlook is so refreshing and sincere. This really inspired me; thank you for sharing it.
MemberSeptember 24, 2020 at 2:35 pm
Thank you! I’m so happy you found it inspiring!
MemberSeptember 24, 2020 at 5:54 pm
Yeah, it resonated with me too!
We are not out pain or our emotions. They’re our experiences and not fact. Very often, I do “emotional reasoning” based on my “facts” I’ve created from my thoughts. Meaning, that even though our thoughts are screaming one thing (everyone is looking at you!!!), it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true.
But it’s oh, it’s so hard to really internalize it!
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