MemberMay 28, 2020 at 5:49 pm
Bewitching the mind
By the force
Of my instincts
Firing harsh words
Sinking into chasms
The mind ensnared
In a lure of negativity
Will I ever be free?
Untangle my true inclinations
From this web
In my head
Flick on the light bulb
The frame of mind
Don the rose coloured lens
Keep my chin up
Half-full is the cup
See the cloud’s silver lining
Light at the tunnel’s end
Squeeze life’s lemons
Make a lemonade trend
When one door closes
One door opens
Plenty fish out in the sea
And each rosy idiom
Designed for me
Power up the optimism
Fuel my energy
Into אמונה, בטחון
That it is directed
From a place of love
The One Above
Of you and me
Happiness and grief
Hashem, we plead
ושוב שנית לקדשה
A second chance
We can’t do this alone
Father in Heaven
Help us from Your High Throne
In brilliant, glowing colour
Illuminate our hearts
With strength, passion
Love and warmth.
And standing strong
As a part of Your nation
With a positive mind
רבונו של עולם
You are Redesigning
The world to
במהרה בימינו אמן
MemberMay 28, 2020 at 8:09 pm
I love your poem, Sury! I love the combination of different metaphors.
AdministratorMay 30, 2020 at 10:22 pm
What a resplendent, evocative, TOTALLY GORGEOUS poem, Sury! Wow! Just amazing!!
MemberMay 31, 2020 at 6:35 pm
Thank you Brocha! And thanks Riva – I feel chuffed 🙂
MemberMay 31, 2020 at 9:37 pm
Beautiful! I love how it begins with one emotion then ends on an entirely different note.
MemberMay 31, 2020 at 9:41 pm
<p style=”text-align: left;”>This is a beautiful poem, Sury! Wow! I lv your descriptive language.</p>
MemberJune 1, 2020 at 12:35 pm
Thank you HappiWriter and Chaya for your kind words.
MemberJune 22, 2020 at 6:49 pm
Hey, just want to notify all of you that my poem is being published in the Hamodia in the Locked Down, Lifted Up page in the Community. A page specifically designed for readers to submit their feelings and writings about the lockdown and covid.
MemberJune 22, 2020 at 7:06 pm
What!? I can’t believe I missed this one! It’s absolutely stunning. We are redesigning our minds, and Hashem is redesigning our world… It ends off on such a beautiful, hopeful note!
(I had to pronounce “frustrated” like you to make the syllables work ;))
Mazel tov on being published!
MemberJune 22, 2020 at 7:21 pm
Yay, thanks, Anagrammer for reading yet another of my poems! Chuffed is an understatement.
Haa, I guess cos you’re American (?) and stress on the ‘frust’ while I, as a brit, put an emphasis on the ‘strated’ of the word ‘frustrated.’
And, yep, thanks 🙂
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 4:04 pm
I’m waiting for more of them! And yes, American I am. But I am enchanted by Brits 🙂
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 4:29 pm
This poem feels like word art…I have no other way of describing it.
So excited! Which magazine is it in – Hamodia, Inyan or Prime? I’m bli neder going to go straight to it Friday night…
And what is chuffed?
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 5:59 pm
Thank you, Esther!
I think in the Hamodia…not sure. Also not sure if it’s in this week’s issue…They didn’t give me too many details. Will find out, I guess!
Chuffed is a British word for glad/delighted/grateful.
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 7:48 pm
Oh, so I’m not expected to know that; I’m Canadian.
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 8:08 pm
Cool! I love the Canadian accent!
Do you speak French too?
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 8:10 pm
Comme ci comme ca;)
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 8:20 pm
Great, lol, I had to google it.
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 8:24 pm
So did I, for the spelling!!!
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 8:38 pm
Sury, you didn’t learn French at school? Are you a fellow Londoner or further North?
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 9:05 pm
Wow, this poem is glorious! You’re a master of words. I love it. And I’m chuffed 🙂 to be a fellow Brit, though I’m not as great a poet.
MemberJune 25, 2020 at 10:36 pm
Beautiful Poem Sury! Love it!
Could someone just explain me how These non.rhyming Poems work – I think I started liking them…
MemberJune 26, 2020 at 4:09 pm
I’m a fellow Londoner! However, French wasn’t a part of the curriculum in my school.
Thanks, Sherry! Nice to make your British acquaintance 🙂
Thanks, Leahle! Free verse poems do not follow the rules, and have no rhyme or rhythm; but they are an artistic expression. You kind of have to just let the words flow from your heart without worrying about having to match words together, yet it shouldn’t sound awkward or clumsy when you read it.
MemberJune 27, 2020 at 8:10 pm
Even with non rhyming poems, personally I do like to have some structure. Say, 2 or more paragraphs mirroring each other, or some sort of pattern with syllables or adjectives or ideas. It’s fun, like word design…play with it!
These are some of mine –
All That Glitters
You see my life as
A million prisms
But know that sometimes
All that glitters
Can reflect back
A million prisms off
Ice chips and
Sparking coals and
Glass shards and
To Be A Child Forever
I want to be young again
I’ll feel my Mommy’s loving hug and kiss
My Daddy’s strong arms lifting me high
My Morah helping me wash my hands
My warm home sheltering me from fears
I want to be carefree again
To run down grassy hills and make mud-pies
To sing silly songs at the top of my lungs
To build a tent in the living room
To sleep without worry of tomorrow
I want to be happy for no reason
Eat birthday cake with lots of whipped cream
Ride my pink bike with a horn and shiny handlebars
Curl up in Mommy’s big bed
Drink in the wide wondrous world
I want to know someone’s there for me
Comforting me when I have a bad dream
Wiping my forehead when I’m sick and feverish
Holding my hand, drying my tears, taking away my pain
I want to be a child forever
But I know Someone’s there for me
Loving more than I’ll ever understand
His Strong Arms holding me tight
Sheltering me from all Evil
Taking the best care of me
I know that I can trust in him
He’s always by my side
Guiding my hand, collecting my tears, sharing my pain
So I have nothing to fear
Because I’m His child forever.
And these 2 were in Twirl –
I’ve traversed the land of another people
Walked their streets
Seen their sights
Felt their culture
Tasted their lives
Though part of me misses
Relives once again
The good times had
In a place not my own.
Now I traverse the land of my people
Walk my streets
See my sights
Feel my heritage
Live my life
That part of me missing
It’s whole once again
It’s good to be back
In the place I call home.
Audience With The King
These days, regretfully
It’s a chore I dread
That I wish to get over with
So I can start my day
I speed through the words
Some garbled or skipped
Eyes roaming the room
Mind on breakfast choices
A hastily closed siddur
As I sign in relief
One down, another two to go.
One day, I hope
It will be a privilege I cherish
That I can’t get enough of
The perfect start to my day
I’ll savor the words
In awe and delighting
Eyes covered, tearing up
A reluctantly closed siddur
As I sigh, looking forward
To my next audience with Him.
MemberJune 27, 2020 at 9:51 pm
Esther I love your Poems!
“All that Glitters” is so true – many People think they know what goes on by others but really they don’t…
About “To be a Child Forever” – I think we all feel that way…
and the rest is just as Beautiful!!!
Thanks for sharing,
and thanks Sury for explaining…
Maybe I’ll write one like that in the near future…
MemberJune 28, 2020 at 4:07 pm
And for sure, go for it! Can’t wait to read…
MemberJune 28, 2020 at 4:11 pm
Your poems are…just wow, Esther!
I love ‘all that glitters’ – its pattern is really pleasant, and the alliteration is fab!
‘To be a child forever” – I echo Leahle. I feel as though I can touch all that you described…brilliant.
‘Audience with the King’ – it’s so beautifully expressed.
You’re a master poet! And by the way, Esther, seeing your submission in the Family First this week, was super! It felt really good that I had read it before it was published 😉
MemberJune 28, 2020 at 5:24 pm
Thanks. It was fun, right Leiba/Esther? They butchered mine pretty heavily, but I didn’t really mind after I got over the surprise.
Sorry we hijacked your thread Sury…but thanks to you Leah opened this great topic. In fact, if anyone has more poem styles to share, I love learning new techniques.
In 5th grade, we learned a basic one, and I wrote tons in that style. If anyone hasn’t done it, they totally should. It’s light & easy writing, but can be a great release. Here’s the format:
(Emotion/concept) is _____.
It looks like _____________________.
It smells like _____________________.
It tastes like _____________________.
It feels like ______________________.
It sounds like ____________________.
To me, (emotion/concept) is __________________.
Fear is paralyzingly cold.
It looks like the unrelenting darkness of the forest at night.
It smells like fire.
It tastes like blood.
It feels like I’m teetering at the edge of a cliff.
It sounds like the door handle turning at 3 AM.
To me, Fear is all of my ghosts of deep down.
Hope is the revival of life.
It looks like the first bud poking through the snow.
It smells like freshly cut grass.
It tastes like hot coffee early in the morning.
It feels like the soft skin of a newborn baby.
It sounds like the opening notes to a song.
To me, Hope is sunshine peeking from behind rain clouds.
And a few years ago, my therapist taught me to write Haikus. That was fun too.
It’s ironic, but for most of my teenage years I actually hated poetry…!
MemberJune 28, 2020 at 7:55 pm
No worries 🙂 We’re here to augment our writing skills, aren’t we?
Hey, I like this kind of style poetry – it makes whatever you’re writing almost 3D.
Thanks for sharing. I think Haikus are eccentric and bizarre, personally…
I learnt acrostics in school which was fun and super easy to write. Whenever I was out of ideas, I used to resort to that. More as a young kid, though.
MemberJune 28, 2020 at 8:07 pm
[quote quote=19531]I think Haikus are eccentric and bizarre, personally…[/quote] You make me laugh!
And acrostics!!! Nostalgia!!! 3rd grade computer class…
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