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  • Poem- Title Help Appreciated

     Anagrammer updated 1 month, 1 week ago 9 Members · 22 Posts
  • Anagrammer

    Member
    October 16, 2020 at 8:53 pm

    <p>Never ever</p>

    <p>Do endeavor</p>

    <p>What I tell you ‘don’t’</p>

    <p>For though you think</p>

    <p>That you’ll succeed </p>

    <p>You’ll see you surely won’t</p><p><br></p>

    <p>Never endeavor </p>

    <p>Do endeavor</p>

    <p>What you haven’t tried</p>

    <p>For though you want</p>

    <p>To do it now</p>

    <p>Your hands, I’m sure, are tied</p><p><br></p>

    <p>Oh, please dear self</p>

    <p>Heed my call</p>

    <p>This is for your own sake</p>

    <p>Never ever</p>

    <p>Do endeavor</p>

    <p>Or try to undertake</p><p><br></p>

    <p>But I want</p>

    <p>But I don’t care</p>

    <p>Oh, I don’t like you, voice</p>

    <p>What I ever</p>

    <p>Do endeavor</p>

    <p>Will be my own choice</p>

  • Brocha

    Member
    October 16, 2020 at 9:09 pm

    <p>Nice! I love the rhythm.</p><p>Possible titles:</p><p>Never</p><p>Ever</p><p>EndNever</p><p>Naysayer</p><p>Dialogue</p><p><br></p><p><br></p>

  • Fiction Fangirl

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 2:11 am

    <p>Anagrammer: I’m too blown away to think of a title. This piece is wow.</p>

  • Sherry

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 2:23 am
    Yep. Lovely rhythm.
    <p>Great message.</p><p>Love the title suggestions.</p><p>Here’s some more</p><p>(Why? I’m not sure)</p><p>Still…</p><p>Never Never</p><p>Ever Ever</p><p>Never’s End</p><p>Nix it, Never</p><p>(Would Sever Never work? – not sure about US pronunciation)<br></p><p><br></p>
  • Sherry

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 2:33 am

    Should the second line of the second stanza read ‘To endeavour’?<br>

    • Anagrammer

      Member
      October 18, 2020 at 3:56 am

      <p>Not sure what you mean. Unless it’s the third stanza you’re referring to?</p>

    • Sherry

      Member
      October 18, 2020 at 10:36 am

      <p>I wasn’t sure if ‘Never endeavor Do endeavor’ was your inner voice being ambivalent or a typo; the way it is written, it seems that it is only in the final stanza that you found the courage to still your inner critic.</p><p>Also that was a certain alliteration in the second and third lines and I wasn’t sure if it was intentional or natural:</p><p>Do endeavour</p><p>… don’t</p><p><br></p><p>[To] endeavour</p><p>… tried</p><p><br></p><p>…call</p><p>… sake</p><p><br></p><p>…care</p><p>…like…</p>

    • Anagrammer

      Member
      October 18, 2020 at 7:38 pm

      <p>Aha, I get what you’re saying now. Though, no, I didn’t have that in mind. Yes, it was an ambivalent flow from my brain to my computer screen. Took about a minute and a half to write;) I did intend to portray the final stanza as my true voice vs the first three as the unwelcome inner critic.</p>

    • Anagrammer

      Member
      October 19, 2020 at 1:57 am

      <p>Um, I obviously did NOT get what you were saying before, Sherry. ‘Cuz I just sent this poem to a friend and she sent back “Shouldn’t the second line of the second stanza read ‘to endeavor’?” I was thoroughly confused and asked what she meant… and found the typo. </p><p>The first line of the second stanza should read “Never EVER” not “Never endeavor”. I completely skim when I read, which explains my reading it right. </p><p>Att Riva: Edit option, please! It’s actually driving me nuts now.</p>

    • Sherry

      Member
      October 21, 2020 at 9:14 pm

      <p>Get you, here. I can never proofread my own work – I’ll always read what I meant to write, regardless of the letters that are actually there. :)</p><p>And just to repeat, I like your poem – a lot!</p>

    • Anagrammer

      Member
      October 22, 2020 at 2:16 am

      <p>What is tickling my funny bone actually is the fact that I skimmed your response, too, and didn’t catch that you quoted the phrase “Never Endeavor”…. This is getting out of hand; it’s gotta stop. And thanks :)</p>

  • Anagrammer

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 4:20 am

    <p>Thank you, Brocha and Sherry, for your ideas. I’m seriously considering them :)</p><p>And thanks, Fiction Fangirl, I’m touched.</p>

  • Mali

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 4:37 am

    Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Sury

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 4:07 pm

    What a poem, Anagrammer!! I love your rhyme/rhythm!! I had this really good beat in my head while I was reading it (which was more than a couple of times 😉).

    • Anagrammer

      Member
      October 19, 2020 at 1:22 am

      <p>Especially touched by this, Sury :)</p>

    • Sury

      Member
      October 19, 2020 at 11:12 am

      My pleasure! 🙂

  • Novice

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 11:32 pm

    Niiice! love the way you ended it!

  • PassionforWriting

    Member
    October 18, 2020 at 11:57 pm

    I love this poem, Anagrammer! It highlights the indecision factor that we all have and our inner critic. I think Never Ever like Brocha mentioned or No You Won’t are both possibilities.

  • Anagrammer

    Member
    October 19, 2020 at 1:20 am

    <p>Thank you, Mali, Suri, Novice, and Passionforwriting for reading and commenting! I’m touched by your positive feedback…</p>

  • Anagrammer

    Member
    October 19, 2020 at 1:58 am

    <p>ARGH! The second stanza should begin “Never ever”.</p>

  • HappiWriter

    Member
    October 19, 2020 at 2:32 pm

    <p>Love this poem!!!</p>

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