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  • Not For Forever

     MH updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago 9 Members · 14 Posts
  • MH

    October 12, 2020 at 10:46 pm

    As of late there have been more wrinkles on your forehead, more lines on your face. Your sighs seem longer, your patience shorter and time seems costly. Divorce does that I’ve learned. Divorce is the monster that steals away happiness and laughter. That tricks away the smiles and replaces them with frowns. You know what the outcome of court will be. I know you know. I know because when you tucked us into bed and have waited till, we are sleeping you don’t leave. You chew your chapped lower lip and bring the laundry pile to the door of our room so you can watch us. I know because when you rush us out the door your hugs are tighter than they were before. Your smiles rarer, and sometimes I catch you watching us for minutes at a time. Daddy has the better lawyers. And his love can make him selfish. He wants full custody and mom doesn’t have the means to hire a top line lawyer like dad. He tells us it shows us how much he loves us. But I disagree. Because every court trial mom returns drained emotionally and physically. And those silent tears that trek down her weathered cheeks fall on to my hair as she kisses me. They leak into the food she makes and the wet kisses we receive on our foreheads. Sometimes at night when the nightmares surface and I tiptoe to her room I find her curled up in a ball on her bed with her face buried in a pillow. At first, I thought she was laughing. Now I know better. Now I’m not afraid of her tears. Instead I crawl into bed with her and cuddle in her warmth because I know it won’t protect me for long. The chill gnaws on my heart when the red ex on the calendar drawls closer and I find myself feigning sick so I can stay home to be with my mommy. To watch her sit at the table looking at paperwork with her brows drawn together. Her pen tapping nervously on the table and her eyes pooling with tears. And then she’ll feel my eyes and muster her smile. And she’ll drop the pen and I’ll lean on her as she read me a story, drinking every moment in. Because I know it won’t last forever.

  • PassionforWriting

    October 12, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    MH, I don’t really have much words except for “Wow”! I so feel your pain, anguish and I’m feeling along with you… Sending you hugs and warmth!!!! SmileyHuggingHeart Eyes

  • MH

    October 12, 2020 at 11:37 pm

    Thank you Passion! Just wanted to put myself in a child’s perspective, you know?

    • Sherry

      October 13, 2020 at 12:13 am

      <p>What a beautiful gift to be able to express your empathy so well in writing!</p><p>Wishing you all the best, MH.</p>

  • Brocha

    October 13, 2020 at 12:22 am

    <p>Ohhhhhhh…</p><p>Send that little girl a hug too <—></p>

  • Elisheva Halle

    October 13, 2020 at 12:42 am

    <p>Wow, echoing Passion here. So so much depth of emotion here</p>

  • MH

    October 13, 2020 at 1:16 am

    Thank you so much! I really appreciate all the comments<3Hugs for you all!

  • HappiWriter

    October 13, 2020 at 1:23 am

    <p>No words. The child’s perspective is most heart wrenching.</p><p>Love the pleasant rhythm in your sentences.</p>

  • Anagrammer

    October 13, 2020 at 1:26 am

    <p>This little girl is WOW, so deep and self aware. The writing is so pulling. I want to cry…</p>

  • MH

    October 13, 2020 at 2:12 am

    Thank you! A lot of times when I want inspiration for a topic I bring it down to a child’s level…it just gives a different perspective…

    • Writer123

      October 13, 2020 at 3:05 am

      WOW! This piece is so full of emotion, I had tears in my eyes. I feel your pain and longing.I totally agree with the child’s perspective, definitely makes it easier to write.Sending you hugs and wishing you all the best! 😘

    • MH

      October 13, 2020 at 3:38 am

      Awww thank you so much! All the best to you too;)

    • Sury

      October 13, 2020 at 11:32 am

      What a heart-wrenching, soul-stirring piece, MH. Unbelievable how you express the feelings in the perspective of a child. I feel the deep, raw, painful emotions coming through. Thank you for sharing! ❤

    • MH

      October 13, 2020 at 5:52 pm

      Thank you Sury😊

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