MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 11:22 am
<p>Most stories end with ‘happily ever after’. That’s how it should be. Or should it? I’m wondering what others think about this. How do you feel when you read a short story (I’m not talking about a book- how horrible would it be to read 700 pages and then BANG everything goes wrong- THE END??) But when you read a short story and there’s a message, but the ending is sad (or it doesn’t have an ending at all), do you appreciate that? Or is it ever so nasty to make your readers miserable? I’ve just written a story like that but I’m not going to post for now because I don’t like the look of all those squishy lines, the enter key doesn’t seem to be working in my posts😀 But I’d like to hear!</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 12:05 pm
<p>I personally think that the real world nowadays has enough
not happy endings. </p><p>Why do we need to create fake ones? It’s unfortunately not necessary… </p><p>That’s only my two cents, you don’t have to agree with me! That’s just what I think…</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 12:13 pm
<p>Hi Drop-a-line,</p><p>I’m all for happily-not-ever endings. It shows creativity on a writer’s part to include a plot twist at the end of the story. Non-dreamy endings provide a deeper sense of reality to the story. Catch me off guard. Leave me bewildered at your last line. Shake things up a little.</p><p>That’s an invitation to upload your story as a Word attachment btw. Just sayin’.</p><p>Fiction Fangirl</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 1:24 pm
<p>Funny, two completely contrasting opinions, yet each have a point. Though I tend to lean more towards what FictionFangirl is saying… I can’t stand it when everything just suddenly fits and goes and voila the world is perfect, because it’s not and I need literature to reflect that! <br>Call me a pessimist, (I’ll counter with ‘realist’:)).<br>So I’m adding my story as attachment (never thought of that, thanks!). I’m not sure if the message is so clear, but do feel free to try and decipher. (I have waaaaay to much time on my hands, stuck inside with corona:() Tada!</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 5:38 pm
BTW, optimism isn’t ‘it will be okay’, it’s ‘I’ll be okay – with His plan – even if I’m not there yet’.
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 1:52 pm
I forgot to say that happy endings don’t have to sound unrealistic. I learned in a script writing workshop that there are those writers who use the crane-method. Meaning, when you have an impossible situation in a book or story, then suddenly comes a crane and lifts the person out of the situation. More fit in a video or play but there are also writers who use such a method in their stories. And no, I don’t like such stories either because they are indeed very illogical and unrealistic. But I wonder why a nice ending (not just the sentence Happily ever after), is considered unrealistic? We do have miracles happening in this world. I mean real ones. There are stories which are written well, make sense and end of well. I don’t want to belittle your story Drop-of-a-line, but I just want to give you a different view point! Hope you forgive me for that!
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 2:36 pm
<p>Forgive you??? Thank you! I love hearing!</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 2:00 pm
<p>The important thing is that I feel satisfied at the conclusion. If I put down a story (that I just spent 5 minutes reading and getting all emotionally-involved in), I want to let out a breath at the end. I don’t want to have that annoyance of ‘Where did this take me?’ I can’t stand when the author builds up a conflict and then leaves it unresolved! Does everything have to work out perfectly? Of course not. But the readers don’t want the characters’ problems; they have enough of their own to worry about. That’s my take (before reading your story, Drop-a-line).</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 2:15 pm
<p>Ok, Drop-a-line. First – you’re super talented and have a real way with words. You developed the characters so well; I feel like I know them. </p><p>Now, honestly – my first reaction when I got to the end was “No. No!” Out loud to the empty room. I shook my head. I was so annoyed. It’s the kind of story I’d punch if it was on paper. You drew me into her world, and there are many conflicts there. Her relationship with her mother, her relationship with her twin, her own self-determination, her grandmother dying…. And really none of those conflicts are resolved. It’s heartrending! </p><p>Please, please, add another 500-1000 words and resolve one of her conflicts. You ended it by the climax; she buried the necklace. But in another few hundred words, perhaps, she can go back and dig it up. I’d feel much better about exiting the document if it ended that way. Now, I feel I’ve abandoned someone who needs me.</p><p>I know, I know, it’s my sensitive side, and maybe it is. Truthfully, though, this story hurts me. I want her to at least turn in a better direction. Instead, she took a turn for the worse.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don’t mean to put it down in any way; in fact, I love the story! You brought me into her mind, and I felt like I was living it along with her (similar to another story you once posted). Just on that specific note, as you asked….</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 2:34 pm
<p>Okay okay, ouch, I’m sorry!! I also really care! In fact, I’d love to call up the parents and give them a good piece of my mind.<br>Though I’m still not sure why I’m hesitant to add another piece. <br>Hmmm, solve one of her conflicts? I’m thinking about it.</p>
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 3:06 pm
Drop-a-line, I loved this story!!! It has so much depth and meaning to it, and it’s written very well! You have real talent!! I found it very validating because I’m allergic to promises too! 😉 I think the ending is great. It left me sad (yes, there were tears) but also at peace, in a certain way, if that makes any sense… Thank you so much for sharing, and please share more with us!!
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 3:44 pm
I truly enjoyed reading this. You write well. Your voice is amazing!
I personally think the ending is perfectly in sync with the message of the story- If you make promises, you gotta keep them. So don’t make too many, too often. Because not everything has a good ending.
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 5:22 pm
Drop-a-line, this story is breathtakingly written!! The word usage, similes, metaphors… Love it! 😉
Regarding your question: I like the reality of this story. People don’t change overnight and problems don’t always get solved.
I hear Bookworms point of the real world, but I vote for true endings.. Sad as they may be…
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 7:15 pm
Hey, your story is great!
About endings, we discussed this previously. The ending doesn’t have to be happily ever after, but it does need to be satisfying. You want readers to feel like it was worth the investment of time and emotional energy.
In your case, you see the ending coming, so it’s probably okay.
As an aside, I’ve been thinking… What’s the point of writing? Isn’t it to entertain people, uplift people? Think about it, someone just had a hard day. She finally carves out some time to relax, read. She’d rather read something that gives hope, shows her that things can be better, that she can be better or that the world is not the dismal place she feels it is.
A relative of mine was in the hospital on Yom Tov. She told me that she was reading the story supplements in the hospital. Then she told me some of her thoughts about the stories. That hit me really hard — writers don’t understand their impact. A lonely person in the hospital might be reading your story. Like I said, give people light, hope.
MemberOctober 27, 2020 at 9:41 pm
I feel like it’s important for stories to be real, even if that means writing about struggle and pain. I know I usually enjoy such stories as I relate to the intensity, pain and struggle. And, at the same time, it is important to keep parts of the story light, but yet relatable. I remember reading something in the Mishpacha magazine (a letter or an editor’s letter) about the power of writing “real.”
MemberOctober 28, 2020 at 1:20 am
Thanks for that awesome read!
I think we often end up feeling the way the character fealt at the end. The character grew? We learned a lesson. If the character hasn’t resolved her issues and is feeling lost, we’ll probably feel a little lost too. Which can be a good thing, it depends on the point your’e trying to make.
With your character, it actually fealt like she came to where she needed to come to. As I was reading it, I fealt like yelling at her – stop waiting for everyone around you to make you happy . It seemed like she moved along on her journey even if it wasn’t resolved yet. That feels real. (So real, that I find myself hoping she’ll learn to keep growing :))
My opinion on tying a prettier bow on it – if you would want to – is to maybe move her toward having understanding and acceptance of her sitch even if she hasn’t resovled it yet….
That was relatable, real. In a word: Awesome 🙂
MemberOctober 29, 2020 at 12:46 am
I’ll dissent from what most Masterpiecers have claimed about tying up the story ending on a more satisfying note. Let me start by asking whether the story falls into the literary fiction genre. If that’s the case, I don’t believe it is your responsibility as a writer to impart a lesson to readers by having your character journey through change. A simple realization on the character’s part, like your character’s decision not to wait any longer, is sufficient. I think you did a good job making the point of your story- a girl who gives up waiting around for things to get better.
With that said, I would’ve liked to see a bit more of a fleshed-out scene where the protagonist receives the necklace as a gift from her parents. I view the necklace as a strong symbol in the story portraying the character’s emotional relationship with her parents based on unrequited giving. Because I view the necklace scene as an integral part of the story, I think it would be better illustrated through show and not tell.
Keep up your great work!
MemberNovember 9, 2020 at 1:01 am
OK, let me be clear.
I like happy endings.
I don’t like the mostly existential angst magazine yom tov anthologies.
I DON’T like: Epilogue, 6 month laters. All loose ends are neatly tied up. And Moshiach has come.
I respect a story with integrity, that logically flows. Your story is perfect. Yes, there are technical issues that others are pointing out (e.g. the necklace) but I don’t know if a happy ending would be the way to go. (” Life is so much better with my rose-colored glasses!🤩🌻🌈☀🎂”)
Just for the fun of it, how would this story read with a happy or happier ending? Can you rewrite it?
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