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  • Girls’ Night In

  • Pickupapen

    Member
    June 7, 2020 at 6:59 pm

    Girls’ Night In

    Tonight’s gonna be a girls’ night in.
    Or make that a girl’s night in. It’s ten o’ clock and it’s just me and my iPad and an hour or so, and I’m going to do some writing. Bliss.
    I close and lock my bedroom door behind me; it’s been another long lockdown day, with all members of the family running circles around each other and around me. I set myself up, find some milk chocolate and open the screen.

    Knock knock.
    “Who is it?” (tired-sounding, as though I was about to have an early night).
    “Shevy.”
    Shevy. Perhaps it’ll be a quickie.
    I move reluctantly off my chair and go to open the door.
    “Any chocolate in here? I haven’t had chocolate for days.”
    Well, she certainly knows where to find the chocolate. And because I’m merciful and I know what it’s like to lack chocolate, I allow her entry. Shevy sits on the bed while I break off a piece of chocolate. She then takes out an apple and makes a bracha.
    Oh, I see. An apple and then chocolate for dessert. I guess I can handle that.
    “I’m always starving nowadays,” she says by way of explanation. I nod. Some evenings I feel wakeful and peckish too. But some evenings I want to have time alone. I look at Shevy. She looks at my screen.

    “Knock, knock.”
    “Yes?” I call, my voice none too inviting.
    The door slowly opens and there stands Batya, my eight year old. Yes, Some eight-year-olds keep late hours.
    “I’m hungry,” she states simply, eyeing Shevy’s apple then eyeballing her chocolate. But before I can think of a suitable response the door opens again and in walks Avigayil, unannounced, looking triumphant. Avigayil’s holding a plastic grocery bag. She lifts it up and states, “I found popcorn!”
    Batya’s eyes gleam. Shevy moves to conceal her chocolate.
    I stifle a sigh.

    “Crunch,” goes Shevy. A perfect crunch for a perfect apple, shiny green on the outside, juicy and white on the inside.
    Avigayil gets comfortable on the next bed and opens the popcorn.
    We share it out and then I notice something about my iPad. It’s not there anymore. Oh, it’s taken up residence on my daughter’s lap.
    “Shevy?” I enquire, hesitantly, “You’re not actually taking a video of yourself eating an apple, are you?”
    She doesn’t respond, too busy videoing.
    It seems that the only thing left to do is to eat popcorn, which I do when I can persuade one of my teens to relinquish the bag.

    “Knock, knock.”
    “Come in,” chorus a hundred voices.
    In prances my eldest daughter, wearing a dress that arrived in the mail this morning.
    “It’s nice,” says someone.
    “A bit baggy on the sleeves,” remarks someone else.
    “It’s too long,” opines another.
    “What have you done to your hair?” Demands a fourth.
    The dress-wearer does a little twirl in front of the mirror.
    I sneak another piece of chocolate.
    Shevy shows us her video of ‘girl eating apple’ in fast motion. It’s okay, bordering on funny.
    Batya proceeds to video herself cramming handfuls of popcorn into her mouth.
    The chocolate is finished.
    I give up looking at the clock.

    It’s a girls’ night in and it’s great.

  • Sury

    Member
    June 7, 2020 at 7:14 pm

    Ha ha! I love it, Pickupapen!

    It encapsulates the whole ‘I want Mommy’s attention’ saga. It’s so real and funny!

    I love your writing style – you kept me glued throughout. Great job!

  • Kayla-Oppenheimer

    Member
    June 7, 2020 at 7:48 pm

    Great piece, Picupapen. I know that feeling of wanting peace and quiet and… it never happens. There’s a lovely atmosphere in your writing, normal everyday life, well normal in the Kovid-19 times we are living. Turning an aggravating situation for you into a fun girls’ night in.

  • Anagrammer

    Member
    June 7, 2020 at 8:46 pm

    Pickupapen, this is so real! I love how you used dialogue, showing not telling your progressive change of thought process.

  • riva pomerantz

    Administrator
    June 7, 2020 at 9:10 pm

    Oish, I love it!! Such a delicious vibe, and such a nice Mommy in an experience so many of us can relate to. We can run but we can’t (won’t?) hide! 🙂

    And I’m so jealous cuz I grew up in a gaggle of girls and always envisioned that yummy, close femaleness, but Hashem, in His infinite kindness, gave me a wonderful first daughter and then four, awesome boys, which is tons of fun but no dress twirling :-). Don’t feel too bad for me, though, because after 15 years, I was gifted another girlie, and then another one, chasdei Shamayim, so we may still have our chocolate-popcorn klatches yet, when they get a little older! 🙂 YUM!

  • Word Warrior

    Member
    June 7, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    this is AWESOME! All I can think is…wow, I now get why Mom always wanted to just sit on the couch Friday night and read 🙂 hah hah hah I used to resent that so much. Good job for letting them in, but yes, it’s so important to have Mommy time…I love how we’re all using Masterpiece as our “me” time. My hubby keeps sending me to “go write” lol 🙂

  • Pickupapen

    Member
    June 7, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    Thanks to all who took time to give feedback!

    I now realise how nice it is to get feedback and will bli neder make more of an effort to give it to others too. Which is quite a commitment as I have read so many great pieces on this forum already so I’ve got my work cut out for me 😉

  • Elisheva Halle

    Member
    June 7, 2020 at 11:41 pm

    Love this piece! I have the same thing but with my toddlers crawling into my bed at two in the morning while I’m trying to write. No peace and quiet around here! (BH!)

  • Chaya F.

    Member
    June 8, 2020 at 6:11 am

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I have to say that you made me chuckle! This is so classic! I love the way you write.  Great topic and so well expressed.

  • Esther

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 7:06 am

    Hey, really good!  Such a fun read, you made me smile.

    I think everyone can relate in some way.  I am guilty so far of being on the intruder side of the story, IY”H I hope to one day be on the intrudee side…

  • Pickupapen

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 1:47 pm

    I hope you will too Esther. Both sides can be fun!

  • Ronda Stoller Wunsch

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 11:15 pm

    Well done. So is this an example of realistic fiction or is it autobiographical?

  • Amalia Shaina

    Member
    June 11, 2020 at 4:36 pm

    Lovely! And looks like you got to do both – enjoy your children AND find time to do some writing. Kol hakavod! As everyone has said, this scenario is so relatable!

  • Shaindy

    Member
    September 2, 2020 at 3:46 am

    It feels so warm and cozy! Eim habanim (habanos) semeicha! It warmed my heart to read this.

  • riva pomerantz

    Administrator
    September 2, 2020 at 9:37 am

    I’m so glad this thread was discovered again. This piece is delicious!

  • Fayge Y.

    Member
    September 2, 2020 at 1:34 pm

    As I read each post I keep looking for a like button. (No, Masterpiece shouldn’t get one. But if it were there….)

  • Mindy Friedman

    Member
    September 2, 2020 at 3:06 pm

    Beautiful piece Pickupapen! I loved how you explained a situation that could be really aggravating, yet your atmosphere is so positive! I found it to be inspirational!

  • Tziri Schwartz

    Member
    September 10, 2020 at 9:05 am

    Such a cute family! I love the homey feel !

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