MemberAugust 28, 2020 at 3:10 pm
So much I want to do, but I don’t know where to start,
so much I want to do,
because I am young at heart.
With passion and fire, I am a blazing torch,
I have many dreams, practically about to burst.
I want to write the article, my mind is on it on full force,
I want to do it now, now, now!
But I first must run it by my mother,
and what will she say, I sure do wonder.
Will she say no, and squash my dreams,
Will she cave into the stigma, so strong?
Or will she appreciate and understand the beauty of the article, and “duck” under the stigma?
I will ask her soon, but my heart just wants to go! No, pounce!
I want to start a DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) curriculum for school aged children, but I have no idea where to start.
But the bigger question is: will I be allowed to? I’m living with my parents and they’re privacy must be protected, lest anyone find out…
Hashem gave me the gift of passion and zeal and I want to try to fulfill it.
I will try but not get discouraged if my parents don’t let me (or maybe I will, but that’s okay). I know that Hashem has a plan and now may simply not be the right time. And that’s okay, too!
MemberAugust 28, 2020 at 3:21 pm
You have a dream to make a difference by helping people? Go for it!
And of course all at the right time!
MemberAugust 28, 2020 at 5:25 pm
Hi Passion for Writing!
Wow, you expressed yourself so clearly through this poem and I totally know how you feel, because I felt that way recently, too. I had soooo many dreams, and I felt like I was bursting at the seams, but I had so much anxiety about how it was all going to happen…so I got into this pattern of rushing and always doing, doing, doing until I really wore myself out because I wanted to see my dreams unfold- and NOW.
To be clear, these were all my dreams: Be a graphic designer and copywriter, write short stories and novels, be a high school limudei kodesh teacher, be a life coach and marriage counselor and parenting coach, and be a gourmet chef and plan fun activities with my kids. Phew! I didn’t know where to focus and where to start…and not all my mentors approved of all my dreams, so I had some issues there as well…besides for the fact that I have three little kids so my hands were already full to begin with…
Here are some things I learned about how to pursue your dreams without running yourself ragged and live calmly and peacefully:
1- know that Hashem REALLY cares about your dreams. Every. Single. Last. One. Tell Hashem every morning about your dreams and know that He wants to help you make them happen, and if He is withholding anything it’s only to give you an opportunity to work on your Emuna and relationship with Him
2- Don’t despair if you have lots of dreams- they all can come true! -But not every dream needs to be a career or something you do every day! When I realized that, I realized that I could do some things as a hobby, every once in a while, and that would be enough to make me happy. For example, I didn’t have to be a gourmet chef, but I could still make one or two fancy things for Shabbos and invite guests and carve out time to make Yom Tov really fancy! I didn’t have to spend every evening planning my kid’s activities, but maybe one week every summer I can run a camp mommy and plan fun activities for them.
3- Accept yourself- I used to feel so bad about all my dreams. In today’s society, we are told a myth that you must pick one job and do that for the rest of your life. But there are certain types of people called Scanners ( see an amazing book called ‘Refuse to Choose’ by Barbara Sher for more on this and more amazing tips!) who have so many interests and have a lot going on in their brains! Whenever I tried to pick just ONE thing to focus on, it felt like I was cutting off 9 of my fingers. It was painful! But I felt so childish when I couldn’t choose! Finally, I realized when I read the book “Refuse to Choose” that Hashem made my brain work differently from most people and that I have a lot to offer the world. I just would have to figure out how to balance work and play and create a manageable schedule
3- Consider your values- Some dreams have no workable action steps for you to take right now, or maybe you’re not sure what to focus on at the moment. Consider what your core values are and what you can do to put more of your values into your life. Are you trying to express yourself? Make a difference? Trying to do Chessed? Do you value certainty or variety more? These are all things to keep in mind when considering which dreams you want to fill up most of your days with
4- Find a way to express your passions even if your dream didn’t come true yet on a large scale- Some dreams we do have to push off for later, even as we do baby steps to get ourselves there. For example, I decided to put my dream of being a life, marriage and parenting coach on the back burner once I got a position as a high school teacher, but continue to take courses and learn all I can on the topic. But, I soon found myself bursting with so much to say! What’s a girl to do? Well, for one, we are really lucky because we have Masterpiece! For example, let’s say that it’s impossible to start the DBT curriculum until you are a little older and have more distance from your parents…well, meanwhile, you can write an article about DBT and post it on Masterpiece (would love to see it!) and maybe even polish it and publish it (under a pen name, if you are worried about your parents). Maybe you can volunteer and be like a “Big Sister” for an elementary or teenage girl who is going through a hard time. As you schmooze with her, you can tell her about DBT and how it helped you overcome challenges in your life. As for me, I’ve started writing short stories which have different life coaching/ marriage/ parenting messages that I want to give over, as well as helping out my friends and family with their life problems!
5- Write down your goals for each dream and write down reasonable action steps that can be done for each one, make a schedule and stick to it. For example, even if I’m not doing Life coaching yet, I know exactly which direction I want to head in and how I want to get there- it might take a few years, but I know Hashem wants to help me get there! I want to write every week, so I set aside one morning each week to do that. I want to do graphic design two mornings, so I scheduled that in as well, and scheduled the rest of my week around being a wife, mother, and teacher, which are my biggest dreams right now
6- Believe in yourself! Not everything needs approval from your parents or other people before you do it. If you have something to give to the world, make a plan how you want to do it and trust Hashem to help you with the rest!
MemberAugust 28, 2020 at 5:56 pm
Wow wow!!! Thank you so much, Elisheva! Your post is extremely validating and you gave me so many tips and suggestions. I especially like how you said that you have so much going on in your brain. Me too!!! It’s true that I can do the things I want to do in different ways like writing an article about DBT anonymously and/or doing my work as an assistant teacher and helping my students by giving them the confidence they may not have.
About your point – not everything needs my parent’s approval. True, but certain things, like mental health are very tricky (though I wish it wasn’t), and so I do have to be careful since I am living with my parents. Not to say anything negative about them, Chas V’shalom, because I bH have what to be grateful for. But Iy”H when I get married, hopefully, it will be closer to the right time. But it could even be before. I could always do it in roundabout ways, like in an article form. Thank you again, Elisheva!!
MemberAugust 28, 2020 at 5:57 pm
Thank you, Bookworm!
MemberAugust 28, 2020 at 8:01 pm
Wow passionforwriting! Go for it, figure out a way to make it happen!
Just want to add something:
There is a book I read recently called The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. You can also watch his speech online-definitely worth it.
There is a thing for college professors called the last lecture-if they would give a last lecture, what would it be about? This professor, randy Pausch, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and it was his actual last lecture. His lecture is titled “really achieving your childhood dreams”. He goes through all his childhood dreams and tells his crowd how he managed to achieve each of them in some way. It is such an inspirational story. You would think it would be sad, because he dies only a few weeks after the lecture, but his speech is full of his achievements, how he lived. It’s funny and inspirational.
I hope your dreams can be fulfilled, passionforwriting!
MemberAugust 28, 2020 at 8:10 pm
Thank you, Meira! I would love to get a hold of that clip and watch it.
MemberAugust 30, 2020 at 3:23 am
Thank you Passionforwriting for starting this thread!
I can really relate! I often feel I have too many passions for my own good. It’s a struggle to balance all my dreams and my time, especially as a mother of kids. Go for the DBT in schools! As a social worker, I thought of creating/teaching a DBT curriculum in schools. It would be awesome if you can pull it off (in the right time, of course).
Thank you, Elisheva, for taking the time to post such a detailed response. It was very helpful! I liked the point about how it is possible to achieve all your dreams even if it’s only in a small way. I will keep that in mind going forward iyH.
Keeps us posted on how it goes, Passionforwriting!
MemberAugust 30, 2020 at 5:40 am
Thank you, Mindy! Yeah, I’m gonna try to see how to juggle all that I want to do especially now that I’m starting work soon, Iy’H. Like Elisheva said, I think it’s a matter of doing it step-by-step, mindfully, as to not to overwhelm myself. (For those who are familiar with DBT, I think the ‘trick’ is to be in Wise Mind).
MemberAugust 31, 2020 at 4:07 am
I don’t know where this question belongs, but I’ll post it here since I got a lot of feedback.
I absolutely love love this forum, but I’m wondering how people have the time to continuously post, write and sketch out their novels. I have so much fomo when I haven’t logged in for a while (a day or 2;)). Anyone else experience the same feeling or similar? Maybe I don’t have so much time because I’m away with my family, but still, I’m wondering.
Can’t wait to hear what you all have to say!!! 🙂
MemberAugust 31, 2020 at 10:43 am
Passion, your piece really resonated within me. I too have many dreams – but unfortunately can’t fulfil them all at the same time…yet we’re [quote quote=21128]young at heart. With passion and fire[/quote] as you so perfectly phrase it. So there are plenty of opportunities ahead to accomplish as many as one can with courage, commitment and of course, siyata dishmaya. I’m talking to myself as well…
I agree with Elisheva that[quote quote=21130]not every dream needs to be a career or something you do every day! When I realized that, I realized that I could do some things as a hobby[/quote]. Also, Elisheva; you say [quote quote=21130]even if I’m not doing Life coaching yet[/quote] – well, you’re a born life coach, let me tell you that!
Passion, I fully support you to go ahead with your dreams, especially as you have great potential and such inner willpower.
Rooting for you! 🙂
MemberSeptember 1, 2020 at 12:56 am
Thank you Sury!!
Yeah, I feel like I’m a bit all over the place and have so many projects I want to pursue. Just recently I made up that I want to design a PowerPoint (with the help of a friend) based on a talk I heard. Just so many things that I often forget and don’t know what the baby steps are. I’m trying to look at things objectively and not falling into the “black and white” thinking, but sometimes it’s so hard to slow down. I think a lot of it has to do with my “people pleasing” nature. For example, I keep telling myself that nothing will happen if I don’t get Project X done or started this week, but then all the unproductive thoughts start coming like “are you sure you’ll have the same momentum next week…?”
And how much do I need to slow down?
Yes, I’m getting professional help now, but wanted to express this and see what you all have to say 🙂
MemberSeptember 1, 2020 at 2:14 am
Yup yup yup!! You women are all echoing the thoughts swirling in my heart. I want to do so much, every day, every month. But life just carries us away and reality doesn’t allow the time for fantasies. Yet, my comfort is that Hashem didn’t create dreams and inspirations for it to go to waste. Someday, somehow it will serve me well. Wishing the best of success in all your passions and desires!
MemberSeptember 1, 2020 at 3:35 pm
OMG, I totally get this!I also have ten thousand things I want to do… (and another ten thousand I didn’t discover 😉 ) It’s just not humanly possible to accomplish them all!
It’s a big pressure – the feeling that you always want to accomplish more and more…
Elisheva, your response is so insightful and validating. It’s true, not everything has to be a career. Some things are best being kept as hobbies. (For example, I love music and playing piano. Since I’m a perfectionist, it always bothered me that I don’t know how to play on a professional scale. Then I realized it’s good to keep it as a hobby – something to use as an unwinding and relaxation tool. Using a talent professionally makes it more pressurizing.)
MemberSeptember 2, 2020 at 1:09 am
Yup and yup again!!! And shake hands to your “perfectionist friend” because I know what it feels like! I agree that Elisheva’s post was extremely validating and very insightful. I actually thought you were a therapist! (You mention that you want to become a life coach, but I think you are one already!! 🙂
MemberSeptember 4, 2020 at 3:06 am
Thank you PassionforWriting! I definitely thought about becoming one many many times. I took tons of courses and read so many books, and plus I have a lot of my own life experiences and nisyonos to add to that…I think my real dream is to become a Mechaneches. I want to help people reach their spiritual goals and I want to give people the gift of a relationship- of having a person in your life to turn to. Of course, a mother does that too, by the way, and that’s not a career, but people don’t view motherhood that way 🙂
I am grateful for Masterpiece to have a forum to share what is on my heart and mind 🙂
I hope you find the proper path to your dreams, Passion- if Hashem gave those dreams to you, it’s for a reason.
MemberSeptember 4, 2020 at 3:11 am
By the way, I am also working on this, Passionforwritng, working on enjoying the process, and it can be hard! I want to see all my dreams before me- NOW. And then I remember that I must surrender control. Hashem is in control; I can only do what is humanly possible of me this moment. And I remember that the real end goal is to become close to Hashem, and striving for my dreams is a vehicle to get me there, but only if I put the control in Hashem’s hands.
MemberSeptember 4, 2020 at 2:49 pm
Wow wow wow!!! Thank you Elisheva for another insightful post!
I think it’s beautiful to become a machaneches. It’s like doing life coaching and teaching at once – helping people but in a slightly different angle. I would encourage you to go for it when the time is right!
Working on enjoying the process – – I see that as Mindfulness and slowing down, which I’m trying to do now too.
Yup, we are very grateful to have Masterpiece!!
Thank you Elisheva 🙂
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