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  • PassionforWriting

    Member
    October 25, 2020 at 2:20 am

    It came to my attention that my document wasn’t opening, so I tried replying to my own post and coping and pasting, but that didn’t work, so I just created a new thread/post. Please let me know you have read this with a word or two in reply, even if you don’t have time for a longer comment. I really, really value your feedback. Thank you 🙂 Intuitive Teaching (not sure what else to call it..) Look, see how this long strip of blocks makes one ten? And then we have a few extra ones… those are – “5 ones,” Yehuda exclaimed in a hurry. Excellent! And that makes it for – 15! Yes, Yeshaya!!! Excellent work, boys. ——Shalom! Why aren’t any math pages done yet? Nu..?! How much are 1 ten and five ones? Shalom struggles to answer. He has no idea what’s be taught and can’t seem to grasp the complexity and pace of the lesson. Mrs. Blorne, an elderly teacher who just moved in, has little time for such boys. Her energy is reserved for teaching and not for those boys who aren’t paying attention. “These days, their attention span is a long as it takes to say achoo! after sneezing! Crazy!” She lamented to her colleague. Luckily, her assistant teacher, bless her, came to the rescue. She has the patience of an ant, Mrs. Blorne marveled. “Shalom, Yanky and Yeshaya, take your pencil and math booklet, and follow Miss Terner. She’s going to teach you better,” Mrs. Blorne said. ——“Okay, Yeshaya, please sit here, Yanky, over here, and Shalom, right next to Yanky, please. We’re going to understand how tens and ones work – “Ha ha ha,” Yanky giggled. “This is so stupid,” Yeshaya followed. Mischievous smiles were written all over their faces and they thought that this was recess. Okay, deep breath; you’re the teacher here and you need to show them that you need business. Back straight, firm but gentle stance… There! Good job! “Okay boys, this classroom is just like Mrs. Blorne’s class. I want everyone to understand the tens and ones. BUT! If I see anyone acting silly, he will need to leave and see what the consequences will be. Raise you hand if you understand. Great! Let’s start.” Good going!Let’s look at this example on the board. How many tens do you see? 5 tens, right? Now what number is 5 tens? 50, right? And how many little ones do I have here? 3, right? So if I bring them altogether, then what number do I have now? 53. Right? Understandings dawns on their faces and we go onto the next example. “Yanky, how many tens do I have here?” “20” That’s what my number is, but how many bundles of tens do I have? “Right, 4!” Excellent, Yanky! And how many ones do I have? “7” … 47!!! Fantastic, Yanky! That’s the number it becomes, but there are 7 ones.” Super work, —Shalom! Please stop that right now. Okay, these boys need some help getting back on task… “I’m going to clap my hands five times and then we’re going to raise our hands to make sure we’re all ready.” “1, 2, 3, 4, 5…!” Excellent, boys. “Please sit down, Yanky! That’s your first strike and I really don’t want to send out any boys.” “This is so stupid! How many examples do we need to do?!” Shalom echoed Yanky with exasperation. “Boys, have any of you ever rode bikes? How many times did you fall off?”“Oh, I got my first 4-wheeler bicycle and I never fell off once! Shalom exclaimed.” “And I got my first bicycle when I was in First grade and I got a huge black and blue mark from it,” Yeshaya remembered eagerly.“And boys, did you each fall off many times?” “Yeah,” came a chorus of eager ‘yeses.’“And my mother wrote a book with 1,000 pages, and it took me a year to read it,” Shalom said with pride. “Wow, wow! That’s super amazing, Shalom! Let’s all give Shalom a round of applause! And, let’s give all our hard-working boys some more claps! You did great work and I’m so proud of you all!” I steal a nano second of time and scan their faces with contempt. Each boy is a world of their own and I am more than happy with the role Hashem gave me now. I hope – really hope, that they remember this time and lesson of working hard. “When’s recess? Shalom asks.

    “Right now! Let’s take our math booklet and pencil back with us and you boys go and enjoy your recess!”

  • PassionforWriting

    Member
    October 26, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    Now that the “reply” button is working, I’m looking forward to hearing your critique, and comments! I so appreciate it 🙂

  • arty10k

    Member
    October 28, 2020 at 5:49 pm

    I really liked your dialogue. It was real and lively. This would would make a great intro to a piece about teaching…

    • PassionforWriting

      Member
      October 28, 2020 at 11:09 pm

      Thank you, arty10k!

      What kind of piece about teaching would this be a good intro for? Can you elaborate?

  • riva pomerantz

    Administrator
    October 29, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    Great dialogue, Passion! I see that you called the piece “Intuitive Teaching” which is a cool name. Is your goal with this piece to demonstrate a certain teaching style that is more in touch with a student’s personality and strengths? Definitely very needed and a great subject to discuss!

    Maybe what Arty10k meant to ask was whether this was an introduction to a larger piece since it was a bit unclear whether we had come to the end of the story or if there was more to be had. I found myself wondering why teacher, who had seemed so nice and supportive, would then look at the boys with contempt. Was that an autocorrect and it was supposed to be “content”, as in “contentment” or satisfaction, maybe?

    • PassionforWriting

      Member
      October 30, 2020 at 1:02 am

      Hi Riva!

      Thank you!! I know – I’m surprised myself at how I was able to create this fiction story, being that fiction isn’t my strong point. I guess it was easier to write because I had the material and direction; I knew what I was writing about.

      Good point! I titled it “Intuitive Teaching” because I feel that I was and am in tune with them and understand what they need (at least in terms of school).

      Hmm… so the story did end as it ended, but I do think that if I submit it, I would have to give it more depth, and details, so it’s more of a solid piece, though I’m not sure how or what… Thinking And, yeah, I meant to write “contentment” Lol! What does contempt even mean? Wink

  • Rochel Solomon

    Member
    November 9, 2020 at 1:58 am

    The dialogue is ace! I disagree, I think fiction IS your strong point. Keep going you’re doing awesome! Keep editing!

    • PassionforWriting

      Member
      November 9, 2020 at 2:06 am

      Thank you, Rochel!!

      Wow, you lifted my mood with your kind and warm words! I’m so touched! Why do you say fiction is my strong point? Just curious 😉

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