MemberJuly 18, 2020 at 11:40 pm
I was a little girl in 4th grade (About 10 years old). Tidiness was one of my weak points and however much I tried to work on it, it didn’t get better. One day in a lesson I couldn’t find something and my teacher saw it. She told me to get up and come to her desk. Oh well! I thought. Here it comes! I was expecting a private telling-off or something like that. But nothing prepared me for what was coming next. In front of the whole class, eyes of about 30 girls starring at me, she turned to me and asked: “Do you see all the tables?” Well, duh, am I blind or what? I thought. But I just nodded, red faced. “Now: Can you see your table? Everyone can! Because of your whole mess on it, it
s sticking out!” I don’t think I have to describe to you the terrible embarrassment I felt. Did this treatment of this teacher help me get better with my untidiness? Try to answer it yourself! The funny thing is, that back then I thought that this teacher was right for doing this to me, even though I found it painful. In my head it was: If you can’t find something, you have to pay a price for it! But now I know that not only was she wrong for doing this, but she could’ve done great damage as well. I am not bearing a grudge against her anymore though. But I learned in Seminary that even teachers have no rights to humiliate their students in public WHATSOEVER! I never forgot this moment, even though I am not mad at my teacher anymore. But I would definitely describe this as a very painful moment in my school time, which I would like to erase from my memory. I didnt write this piece to just dwell on this moment but to warn all teachers out there: However much you think you are right to embarrass your students, know that you are absolutely not! Especially pointing out weaknesses of them in public, can be unimaginably shameful and kids can suffer from great self-esteem damage. Please watch your actions and words. You can build up a child with good, thought-through words and actions. And the same with the opposite.
MemberJuly 19, 2020 at 3:13 am
Oy vey Bookworm! How horrible! But such a true message
MemberJuly 20, 2020 at 3:00 pm
You’re right. Teachers have a very strong power — they can build their students, they can break them.
That’s one reason I didn’t become a teacher… 😉
MemberJuly 20, 2020 at 9:37 pm
Thanks Elisheva for your comment!
HappiWriter, it`s true that teachers have a huge responsibility, but with a bit common sense, good teachers can be very empowering and if little mistakes happen here or there (teachers are human beings after all), students will forgive them for those. If you are a human being with common sense and sensitivity then I dont see why it is a problem for you to be a teacher… And if such a mistake like the one my teacher made with me would occur, then you can always ask for forgiveness. One of the reasons why I had such a hard time getting over it, was because she never asked me to be mochel her.
MemberJuly 21, 2020 at 10:06 am
Bookworm, what a painful, shameful moment!!! Have you ever approached the teacher about it? Her perception or memory of it may be completely different than yours.
MemberJuly 21, 2020 at 3:27 pm
I was a little girl then and I didn`t even think of approaching the teacher. Now I would just feel stupid to do that after about 9 years…
MemberAugust 6, 2020 at 5:02 am
Bookworm, I can totally relate! I had way too many negative experiences in school and with teachers!
I am so sorry you went through that, but so happy for you that you were able to come to a place of acceptance and are not upset about it anymore.
MemberAugust 6, 2020 at 3:28 pm
Wow wow. Such an important message! A teacher NEVER has the permission to embarrass a child. I actually wrote an article about teaching (Teaching from the Heart) and stated that it’s important to take a step back, breath and then assess)
MemberAugust 7, 2020 at 8:54 am
Thank you Writer123 and Passionforwriting, for your comments!
I can’t say that I have been bullied left and right from my teachers, but many of my weak points came out in school, so sometimes my teachers made mistakes here and there… Some were also very patient and I have tremendous gratitude towards them!
I am sorry Writer123 that you had so many negative experiences! It’s hard to forgive, but the reward you get for it is HUGE!
Passionforwriting, can I somehow get hold of the article you wrote about teaching? You got me curious… 🙂
Just as a side point: Even asking a student “Where are we holding?” to see if they are not day dreaming and the like, is FORBIDDEN as well! You can ask, but don’t wait five minutes until they finally find the place! Its so embarrassing and I can speak from experience! There are other ways of getting rid of day dreaming in class, I am sure!
MemberAugust 7, 2020 at 5:36 pm
Sure, here’s the link for it. I hope it works.
MemberAugust 7, 2020 at 5:38 pm
So you’re gonna have to scroll down till you see the article called Teaching from the Heart.
MemberAugust 8, 2020 at 10:00 pm
I loved reading your article! I learned a lot as well.
Maybe I should mention here that unlike the examples you mention in your article, I was not a kid who disturbed in class. I was very quiet and polite. Teachers wouldn’t have noticed me especially, if not for my mess under my desk 🙁
MemberAugust 9, 2020 at 4:34 pm
Ouch!!! That is truly very hurtful and horrible 🙁
Thank you so much; I’m glad you found it helpful!
That’s why at one point I reminded myself that the quite students may need me to, and so I went to see how they were doing. I’m just so saddened when I see teachers who have experience but aren’t trained. We need teachers who are highly skilled and trained!
MemberAugust 10, 2020 at 9:54 pm
I actually had many good teachers who appreciated my quiet nature. By this particular teacher I didn’t feel it as much.
“Trouble kids” are nowadays more “popular” than the polite ones. Teachers are trying so hard to give attention to kids who are acting up in class, and sometimes the other kids who deserve and need attention just as much, go under somewhere (or worse, start acting up as well, as this seems the only way to get the teachers’ attention!). It’s sad but sometimes unfortunately true. Glad to see that there are teachers like you around, Passionforwriting! Being a teacher is surely not the easiest job on planet earth…
Kudos to all teachers who appreciate and accept ALL their students as they are!
MemberAugust 11, 2020 at 5:21 pm
I get emails from Chabad.org and think it’s very powerful.
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