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  • Dancing above Diffidence

     Sury updated 7 months ago 6Members · 8 Posts
  • Sury

    Member
    June 2, 2020 at 7:00 pm

    Sand dunes
    All around me
    As I sit, mesmerised
    Gazing at the
    Wondrous waves
    Dancing about with a kind of
    Patriotic poise
    I watch
    As the prevailing wind
    Streams through the air
    Like a swift serpent
    Spirited, strong
    As though boldly acting
    Upon a difficult mission.
    Cotton candy aspirations
    Determination
    Melt away as
    The heavens split open
    Pellets of oxygen and hydrogen
    Intertwined
    Heavy teardrops
    Roll down Earth
    A tantrum from above
    Tempting the waves
    To grow wilder, stronger
    A vigorous dance
    Like a heart on fire
    Battling for the last threads
    Of conviction, courage, resolve
    But insecurity
    Is powerful and restricting
    Drowning dreams
    Pulling down ambitions
    A ferocious current
    Dragging all desires
    Down, down, down
    Into the depths of the
    Stormy sea
    To a place
    Where futures cease
    To exist
    Like a flopped cake
    A miserable combination
    Of talent and diffidence
    Where the will is not a way
    And self-worth
    Is but a crumb.
    When all at once
    The heaven stops to cry
    Leaving a blotchy grey canvas
    And a burst of sunlight
    Shoots through the clouds
    Shimmering in the sky
    Embracing the world
    With warm arms
    The sea sparkles
    Gliding and pirouetting
    Rising and falling
    In confident motion
    Unfazed by the downfall
    Of the waves
    Only rising up again
    Mightier and taller
    Than before
    A powerful blend
    Of ability and self-assurance
    Faith and gratitude.
    As the sun saturates the world
    In warmth
    I gaze
    Into a bright future
    Of prospects
    Success
    A passionate dance
    To rise above
    My humble heart
    To a place of belief
    In Hashem
    In myself
    To enlighten the universe
    With the gifts
    Hashem blessed me

  • riva pomerantz

    Administrator
    June 3, 2020 at 7:27 pm

    Wow! This is not just a poem, Sury; it is an odyssey, a journey into Self and so artfully done. I loved the amazing, magnificent descriptions and turn-of-phrases you used at so many different junctures that I can’t even possibly point them all out. This is MASTERFUL!

  • Esti G

    Member
    June 3, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks for this outing to the beach! Your writing virtually transported me away…

  • A Willing Pen

    Member
    June 4, 2020 at 1:13 am

    This is so beautiful I loved reading it!!

  • Kayla-Oppenheimer

    Member
    June 4, 2020 at 1:45 am

    Sury, this poem is awesome. The way you describe waves:

    “Wondrous waves
    Dancing about with a kind of
    Patriotic poise

    and I the imagery about the wind:

    As the prevailing wind
    Streams through the air
    Like a swift serpent
    Spirited, strong
    As though boldly acting
    Upon a difficult mission

    The lines that touched me deeply the heart of the poem:

    A miserable combination
    Of talent and diffidence

    In those few words you described everything about we negate the gifts Hashem blessed us with, and the ‘diffidence” is so spot on, and it’s not even that negative a word, it’s more shaking away the talents in the first place, denying them existence, or as you eloquently say: ”

    To a place
    Where futures cease
    To exist

    The whole poem is a dance between the elements that give a person confidence and the voice of the inner critic pulling us down. Using rain, waves, wind, sunlight makes the whole picture nuanced, brings it so alive.

    This poem resonated with me deeply but also gave me insight into the process of learning how to trust in Hashem and in the unique gifts he has given us.

  • Sury

    Member
    June 4, 2020 at 1:12 pm

    Thank you Riva, Esti, lovetowrite and Kayla for your kind feedback. This is an actual journey in Self, for I think every person goes through this stage of pushing away talent because of diffidence, at some point in there lives, young and old alike.

    In fact, I used the imagery of dancing, because I love dancing. Dancing and writing are a perfect combination in my humble opinion. What are creativity, imagination and inspiration, if not a dance into a higher realm. It comes from leaping/dancing out of our own comfort zone on planet Earth, to a loftier place where our thoughts/ideas/emotions dwell.

    Most importantly, (something everyone including myself needs to remember) Hashem sends us all the creativity we possess, and it’s our duty to utilise it to bring happiness into the world.

  • Anagrammer

    Member
    June 18, 2020 at 2:53 am

    Wow. I wish I could write like this! My favorite line is “To rise above/My humble heart”; it contains such depth – utilizing, not squandering, your talents is the truest expression of greatness, not lowliness.

    (I’m hooked on your poems!)

  • Sury

    Member
    June 18, 2020 at 11:26 am

    Anagrammer, you’ve been the source of my blushing the past few days 😉 Feedback like yours makes me want to write all night. So, thanks!

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