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  • Crafting beautiful sentences…a quick snapshot

     ML updated 1 week ago 10 Members · 12 Posts
  • riva pomerantz

    Administrator
    February 2, 2021 at 11:29 pm

    Here’s what happened tonight, while writing the next chapter of See You, my (relatively) new serial in Ami magazine.

    I’m showing you the progression so you can see my process:

    First this: The sentence dangled awkwardly in the air and neither girl wanted to hook a word of any dimension onto the end of it. (Hate ending a sentence with “it”!)

    Then this: The sentence dangled awkwardly in the air and neither girl wanted to hook a word of any dimension onto the edge of it. (Well, “edge” is much better than “end”, but we still have that inelegant “it” going on….)

    And finally….ta da! B’ezras Hashem, THIS:

    The sentence dangled awkwardly in the air and neither girl wanted to hook a word of any dimension onto its frayed edge.

    A yummy sentence is often just a couple of edits away!

  • Elisheva

    Member
    February 3, 2021 at 3:31 am

    sooo cool to see your process up close!

  • Lovetowrite

    Member
    February 3, 2021 at 4:29 am

    2nd that:) So so cool! Love the mini sneak peek😆 Gonna look out for it this week:) ♥

  • Fiction Fangirl

    Member
    February 3, 2021 at 7:16 pm

    How fun to get an inside glimpse of the serial in the making! Here is a question for the day: How do you work on your edits? The old fashioned way with paper and a red pen? Or do you prefer editing in a Word document?

    • riva pomerantz

      Administrator
      February 3, 2021 at 10:50 pm

      Great question! I am totally a Word doc girl. My handwriting has slowly deteriorated to the point that I get cramps filling out medical forms :-).

  • Mali

    Member
    February 3, 2021 at 11:46 pm

    So cool. Yummy indeed!

  • Fayge Y.

    Member
    February 4, 2021 at 1:42 am

    Very cool! I guessed it would be “its edge” but ah, the “frayed.” Masterpiece indeed.

  • PassionforWriting

    Member
    February 4, 2021 at 3:22 am

    OMG! I love the revisions and the transition you made to the final sentence! I love editing and I get a thrill out of finding the right words like how you just showed us.

    And I LOVE your serial!!!

  • Sarah

    Member
    February 5, 2021 at 2:00 am

    I love it! Thank you for sharing this with us!

  • Sury

    Member
    February 7, 2021 at 12:16 pm

    Brilliant! Just brilliant!

  • Lovetowrite

    Member
    February 15, 2021 at 11:42 pm

    @rivariva Just gotta put it out there, that i felt mighty cool, when i read your serial this week, and saw this sentence😉 Felt like i got a whole sneak peek;) I Think i’m not the only one here with the same thought……😂

    *calmly reading….. eyes widen. read. reread. “OMG i know this!”

    okay.. I’ll be honest! Didn’t exactly play out like that, but you get the point❤ ❤

  • ML

    Member
    February 28, 2021 at 8:13 pm

    Love Love Love your serial and thanks for sharing this process!

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