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  • Control

     Anagrammer updated 7 months, 1 week ago 7Members · 7 Posts
  • A Willing Pen

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 12:14 am

    constructive criticism needed. Thanks

     

    I want to plan my life.

    I want to set the rules.

    I want to control it all.

    I think I have the tools.

    I want to hold on tight .

    I want to supervise.

    I want to control it all.

    These desires are not wise.

    Control is just an illusion.

    Control is just a facade.

    In truth I am powerless

    The only Power lies with God.

    Hashem can help me,

    At times when I cannot.

    Hashem is the one who has given me.

    All that I have Got.

    And when life gets too hard

    The load to heavy to bear.

    These are the thoughts

    Hashem wants me to hear.

    “My dear daughter,

    Please listen to me

    Put it down

    You’ll feel so free

    There is no need to worry

    Or to carry such a heavy load

    Hand it to me.

    It’s for Me to hold

    I have infinite power

    I can do it all.

    I can do the impossible

    I can pick you up when your fall.

    I have the keys for your success

    The keys for your wealth

    The keys for your children

    The key for your health

    I’m holding your future

    So there is nothing to fear

    I’ll always be close.

    I’ll always be near.”

    It’s not my nature

    But I will give it a try

    To take all my fears

    And throw it to the One on High

    And the results

    How liberating it will be.

    Hashem is in Control.

    And I can feel free.

  • Brocha

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 2:12 am

    I love it, MJ! Especially the line “Control is just a facade”; both the content and the rhyme. Thanks for sharing!

  • Sury

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    I think this is a beautiful poem, MJ! I love how the rhyming flows so smoothly.

  • Chagit

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    MJ, this poem is really beautiful! And the message is so true! Thanks for sharing!

  • Leahle

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 6:24 pm

    MJ, This Poem is simply awesome!!!!!

  • A Willing Pen

    Member
    June 10, 2020 at 10:32 pm

    Ohh, I love this! The rhythm, the rhyme, it’s great! I also noticed the Facade/G-d rhyme and usage- brilliant! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Anagrammer

    Member
    June 11, 2020 at 6:11 pm

    I triple the facade rhyme. And it is simply stunning, MJ.

    What you say [quote quote=18452]It’s not my nature /But I will give it a try/To take all my fears /And throw it to the One on High[/quote] and then [quote quote=18452]And the results/ How liberating it will be.[/quote] I think it is specifically because it is not your nature to let go of the control, you have this incredibly liberating feeling when you do.

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