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  • Anatomy of a Gift

     HappiWriter updated 3 weeks, 4 days ago 5 Members · 7 Posts
  • All Over The Place

    Member
    December 6, 2021 at 7:47 pm

    I penned the following ISO of a gift for my mother lichovod Chanukah. My mother is a gift giver par excellence, as devoted as she is, she is utterly ungiftable.

    *Names changed to protect the guilty*

    Dear Mommy,

    So it’s the day before

    (Not the month or week)

    And your kids driving

    Each others up a creek

    It’s gift time!

    Lest we forget!

    Not a moment to late!

    Their voices mirror fret!

    It must be one of a kind!

    Everlasting, and unique!

    Something designer, silver

    Twould be nice if it’s antique!

    It must be colossal!

    We’ve got so much to thank!

    It’d better be affordable!

    Not to break the bank!

    So we plan and discuss

    Ideas mulled and thrown away

    Many phone calls placed

    Many miles away.

    Oh! This must be it!

    An idea is given birth!

    Utterly different and amazing

    For our money’s worth!

    It’s too much, cries Brother One

    I’ll be in the poorhouse!

    Gasp! Goes SIL 2.

    I’m impoverished as a church mouse!


    Back to square one

    Anything, let it be cheap

    Even if it’s not exclusive

    And simplistic, not so deep.


    Meh, says Sister A.

    Whatever, says one brother.

    Third doesn’t deign an answer

    And the fourth goes undercover.


    Something! Anything!

    I scream into the void.

    By then we’ve ceased communicating

    And everyone’s annoyed.


    A gift certificate!

    A sparkling ring!

    A tablecloth!

    Oh, Lord! Just anything!


    For a mommy who gives

    It’s terribly hard to beat

    Or even the same standard

    To rise up and meet.


    Next time you’re getting

    A cape of black wool

    With brown furry balls

    For when the weather is cool.


    Or four fingertip towels

    With an embroidered R

    Or a Lucite napkin holder

    OK- I’m taking it too far.


    This repeats itself

    Til the phone lines are worn.

    So Mom, your gift?

    A UNICORN.

  • Sarah

    Member
    December 6, 2021 at 8:48 pm

    Brava @allovertheplace ! Your poem is adorable and so relatable! I was nodding along as I read it (and I’m sure others will as well). Thank you for sharing this with us and keep ’em comin’!

  • PassionforWriting

    Member
    December 7, 2021 at 12:25 am

    LOL!!! This was a nice and fun read, @allovertheplace !! You sure have a way with words!

  • riva pomerantz

    Administrator
    December 28, 2021 at 1:30 pm

    Somehow I missed this, @allovertheplace and it’s a good thing I found it today because it’s GENIUS!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, too, have trouble giving gifts to various family members and this was only too much the story of MY life. Now can you please tell me where you got the unicorn? I’d like to order some!!!!!!!!!! 😂🤣😃😍

    • All Over The Place

      Member
      December 28, 2021 at 1:35 pm

      🙏 @rivariva !

      Your feedback means a lot to me! It’s my first piece here at Masterpiece!

  • riva pomerantz

    Administrator
    December 28, 2021 at 1:57 pm

    No way!!!! @allovertheplace , I can’t believe it! You’ve got to give us more–this is GOLD!!

    I have a secret to tell you: I included this piece in my newsletter that’s scheduled to go out in a few hours. It’s that good!!!!!! 😍😘🥰

  • HappiWriter

    Member
    December 28, 2021 at 8:52 pm

    OMG @allovertheplace . I love the tempo and humor. It is sooo hard to buy mothers gifts…

    The style reminds me of Dr. Seuss.

    We wanna see more…!

Viewing 1 - 6 of 6 replies

Original Post
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