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  • A Willing Pen

    Member
    June 9, 2020 at 12:18 am

    I’m having a lot of fun reading this -it’s so different and refreshing.
    But cos I’m a bit nasty I’m gonna give some unsolicited critique- gentle, I promise.

    The first chapter kept me on the edge of my seat and so did the beginning of the second chapter. but then I got a bit confused when it moves rapidly  from Zara’s feelings about her date to her interactions with Shalva and Shalva’s shidduch woes, which takes up the rest of the chapter.

    Maybe this section  could be moved to the next chapter to keep things snappy like they were in the first chapter?

    One more thing is maybe you’ll reconsider the frequent use of the term ‘cracks up.’

    Cant wait to read more!

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