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Anagrammer- a person is only envious of something that’s already inside them- so says the Gemara, I think. Y’know what that means? You have it inside you to finish that novel that you started when you were twelve! I can only imagine how traumatized you were- and still prob are! Kudos to you for still following your dream!
BTW, totally off topic, but I love the Anagramm- read the book “Awareness” by Miriam Adahan cover to cover